Mercy
by SlytherinElektra
Summary: Odin is back to take Loki to an exemplary punishment. Loki feels too broken to fight. The Avengers intervene.
1. Chapter 1

_Help me -  
I've fallen on the inside  
And all the men in cloaks are  
Trying to devour my soul _

Loki could barely hear the world around him. He was sitting on the floor, looking at it, breathing heavily. He could only see the wooden floor and his blood staining it. Could register Thor in the distance, trying to fight dozens of guards while they tried to keep him restrained, while he bellowed and called for thunder. Could hear some of the Avengers talking hushed voices aomg themselves as they looked at him. Could almost hear the silence of half of them as breathed heavily on the floor. Could hear the Allfather trying to silence his first born.

A shiver coursed through him. Odin and his men finally had him and they had the worst possible of punishments imagined for him. Asgard would make him pay for all he'd done, they would put him through the worst pain and then laugh at his screams. No more cells, no more commodities, not even the luxury of a quick execution – only misery and hatred for centuries. There was no one on the whole realm that would intercede for him now, and every one would just relish his pain. Only Thor was opposed, as powerful as he was he was only one man. And he had half his team against him, apart from his father and all his manpower.

Barton and Stark were happy to hand Loki over to his horrifying destiny. Barton mostly because of his bad history with the god, and Stark, who may have shown sympathy in the past, just wanted to be rid of him. One less problem, he would say, one less threat for humans, one step closer to being back home, one step closer to everyone being safer. One step closer to the Earth being finally safe. So they were happy to hand him over to Odin – knowing he wouldn't bother them again without having to do the deed themselves. Maybe they would celebrate when Loki left. Clint would certainly sleep with a smile knowing that his former tormentor was getting what he deserved.

Romanoff was silent and unreadable, as usual. She had been there – she knew what it was. The moment where all your evil comes back at you. When you have SHIELD tell you you're going to be killed. When you know why and you know that you are helpless – that there's no escape. That after your endless journey of surviving, you're done for. She had tried to plead with sad eyes back then, and it had worked. But no one was going to give that opportunity to Loki, if they in which those Asgardians were restraining Thor was anything to go by.

Bruce was quiet, too, trying not to look in the broken god's direction. Everything had been too excessive, ever since they found out that Loki was hiding on Earth. It had been practically ten against one and all of it screamed extreme aggression. By the time they stopped and called the Asgardians, Loki had in him three bullets and at least five arrow impacts, not counting the times the Iron Man had thrown him around. And when Thor's face changed after hearing his father Bruce knew he didn't want to know anymore.

Bruce knew he should want Loki to go away. He'd done horrible things, and nearly all of them had died last time. He had turned Clint into his puppet against his will. He had used the Hulk and from what he know he had used Thor to escape the cell he was in. And he was from Asgard, and Asgard wanted to judge him so there should be no problem. Still, seeing the man's father be the judge and executioner and hold all that cruelty in his eyes... It had reminded him of things he would rather forget. So he avoided looking at Loki – avoided thinking about him, avoided hearing the All-father call his son a monster. Or at least tried. He didn't want to get in the middle of that. He didn't want to be there, didn't want to think about it. This was too much.

Thor had tried to hate his brother, had wanted to, almost believed it when he said they weren't really brothers. Loki didn't deserve his love, no part of it, not after what he had done. But he couldn't. No matter what terrible things he'd done in the past, Thor couldn't forget all that they played as children, all they had taught each other, all they had lived together. And then he Fandral came to Midgard with a heavy heart to warn him about what Odin meant to do with Loki. How he would make him an example of how unforgiving and severe Asgardian justice could be, a deterrent for other criminals, and a way of showing that Odin Allfather was as fearsome as he was powerful. Thor knew what that meant, or at least part of it, having grown up in Asgard. He couldn't bear the thought of Loki going through that, much less knowing that it was his own father the person who thought of such punishment. It would shatter whatever was left of Loki, eat his soul. Death would be better.

Loki had no strength, thrown on the wooden floor of that conference room on the Avengers tower where everyone had gathered. He was too weak to try to summon any magic, his arms trembling just to hold his weight up, his face and hands wet with blood. Maybe he could one last offence, make it look like he was trying to kill one of them in one last attempt to see if they put an arrow through his skull. Loki had been all his life an adept survivor, coming back from even the worst situations, but on this case... He would sooner be dead than good back to Asgard. With Frigga gone and Thor living on earth with his lady scientist no one would show him any mercy.

He was already dead.

"It is time" Odin said, stepping ahead. "Loki must return to Asgard."

"No." A voice said, before Thor could interject. "No."

Loki looked at the Captain, afraid to be hopeful. The leader of the Avengers speaking against his father? It was too beautiful to be true.

"You will not take him. Loki has destroyed many lives and many properties here on Midgard and he is no use to us in your land. And we deserve to punish him too, just like you do. I want him here, fixing things as payment for what he's done. I want his very life to be on service to us – I want that magic to rebuild, redo, and I want all of Loki's tricks for the Avengers. You want an exemplary punishment and we do too. Our lifespans are nothing compared to yours: once me and the generation affected by Loki's havoc dies out you'll have him back to do as you please. We gave him to you once, and we shouldn't give him away again without imparting our own justice."

"This is very irregular."

"Loki will be under our control at all times, and if he goes back to tricking us or if he tries to disappear he will be sent to Asgard, be sure."

"He speaks the truth, father. The people of Midgard have been most affected by Loki's evil, they should have some compensation."

Odin spoke with his guards and his councilmen, and agreed to the terms. Partly to appease Thor and partly to maintain the appearance of the king's justness – and partly because they were almost certain that Loki would betray the Avengers and be back in no time.

And finally they left.

Thor went to his brother and did something he hadn't done in years. He embraced him, held him tight as he cried.

"I was so afraid for you, Loki, so afraid."

Loki hadn't wanted to, but the relief of seeing those men gone combined with the unexpected affection from Thor have broken him down completely, and he was crying.

"They were going to torture me forever... they..."

Thor looked into his brother's bruised eyes.

"We will fix this, Loki. If you cooperate you will not have to go back there. It is not too late."

After some more moments of hugging and crying the Avengers (except the Captain) disbanded and left to discuss Steve's decision or just complain about about it. Loki finally gave in to the exhaustion, to his wounds and to all the emotional turmoil and collapsed in his brother's arms. Thor picked him up with ease and looked at his friend, his ally, his companion.

"Steven, I – there are no words to describe my gratitude. You are an admirable man and have saved my brother of an undignified end, while giving him a chance to redeem himself. You are worthy of legends."

Steve smiled softly.

"But this doesn't end here. He will have to work with us if he wants to stay here – fix what he broke. Or else he goes back to Odin."

"My brother is no fool, he knows what is best for him. And he will not forget this mercy you have granted him, how you have saved him."

As Thor took his broken brother to the medical facilities, he felt hope.

Hope that his brother could still be saved. Hope that he would him back, fighting by his side, like all that time ago.

This mercy had changed everything.

A/n: Crappy self-serving Loki angst with nice Steve. Absolutely inspired and created because of Muse's song Mercy which y'all should listen because it's beautiful. Sorry for the mistakes, my excuses are that a) am not english (hello from Spain!) and b) it's 2am. Did you like it? Yes? No? Could be a multi-chap. Anyone would be interested?

You know you want to review! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

_I tried to change the game_  
 _I tried to infiltrate_

"What the hell, Rogers?"

Was the first thing he heard when Steve entered the room were the rest of his team mates were. They were in their right to be angry with him, of course, he had imposed someone on them without even asking. Someone they'd had trouble defeating, someone who had affected everyone in different ways. Steve had single-handedly decided to keep Loki on earth when possibly all of them were against it. It hadn't been right – and yet, it had been the only thing he could have possibly done. The only thing.

It wasn't just the broken look on Loki's pale eyes, the blood on the floor, the way his hads and arms shook while he tried to support his weight. It wasn't the dried blood in his hair and hands, the way that even badly injured as he was he'd kept trying to escape until his legs gave out, and even then he'd tried again and again until he couldn't stand anymore. It wasn't the almost inaudible whimpers as he tried to stand, the ragged loud breathing, so strangely irregular and shallow, that hitched and stopped unexpectedly. No.

Steve was smarter than that, and he hadn't forgotten who he was facing – the god of lies, a consumated actor, a trickster, somehow who had survived through tricks and deceit. Of course he would try to gain the pity of the people who could save him from a fate worse than death. It was in his nature to try and do it, to exagerate his pain and misery. It wasn't that which Steve believed – after all, Loki couldn't be trusted, not even weakened like he was. Steve didn't believe him, but he could believe what he saw in the other Asgardians.

The despair in Thor's eyes was real as was the hatred on those guard's eyes. They had hated Loki for a very long time (not without reason, probably) and now they were getting their chance to express those felings. To get some justice, they would think. Because sometimes the crimes are too great for regular justice, the criminal too dangerous for simple cells. Loki qualified as such, Steve had no doubt. There was also anticipation, a kind of twisted veiled happiness when they saw Loki in the situation he was, bloody and helpless on the floor. And there was something so utterly worng about that.

"I know, I should have spoken with you before making a decision, and I'm sorry, but there was only a shot for this – a limited time-frame. And we needed the unity, and the element of surprise. If they saw us arguing and trying to reach a decision the chance would be gone."

"And why exactly did we want to take that chance, huh?" Stark added, pissed. They were minutes away from getting rid of Loki once and for all and they had taken it back. They had taken back that monster, who had caused them so much – and not just them, but the whole city of New York, and Sttutgart, the world. They didn't need more problems, they needed less. And no amount of complaining in Thor's part would convince him otherwise. Because of Steve's decision he would be worried about his safety for the next who-knew-how-long, looking behind his shoulder, worried everytime Pepper went away. It was not right. And if it wasn't right for them much less for the rest of the population.

"It's not a matter of want. It's a matter of using an available asset for something constructive instead of letting it go."

"That's not how things work, Cap, and you know it. This is not justice – he needs to pay for what he's done, not be given some sort of second chance because you felt bad about what they were going to do with him. He was only getting what he deserved."

Steve went a couple of steps forward and towered over Stark.

"Look at me in the eye, Tony, and tell me that torture is fair. Come on, tell me."

There was silence in the room and a lot of tension. Too much.

Clint spoke, breaking the silence.

"Whatever, we cannot be the police of the universe. But I agree with Stark, this is too good for the guy. Most criminals have done much worse than him and yet they don't get a second chance."

"Well, most criminals aren't one of my team mates little brother." Steve countered.

"Oh, don't you play the Thor card" Tony said."We all know this isn't about him, this is about you feeling bad for an intergalactic mass murderer and tyrant wannabe. It has nothing to do with Thor."

As if on cue, Thor appeared on the door of the room, his unconscious brother still in his arms, lifeless, almost strangely peaceful.

"Stark's personnel is denying Loki the medical attention he needs. They claim they feel unsafe and fear for their lives should he wake." Thor said, a melancholic tinge to his words. Loki had done many wrongs, but he wasn't just a mindless killer, although everyone had been treating him as such for the last years." They even refuse us the access to their equipment."

"And they have every right to do so." Tony added, looking at the thunderer in the eye.

Steve sighed. He knew that his decision would entail many problems, but he hadn't thought they would start so soon.

"We'll take him to my place." He said. At least no one would complain there, although there was still the topic of the medical attention... "Doctor Banner? I know you've done some medical work before, would you mind...?"

"Not at all. I'll go with you."

"I can go with you too, you'll need more people to make turns keeping an eye on him."

"Thanks, Natasha. Much appreciated."

There was a clear rift in the Avengers: Tony looked hurt at Bruce's willingness to help and Clint at the fact that Natasha had volunteered herself. She didn't like going against Clint like that, but she wasn't going to leave Steve to deal with all the hatred of not just this world, but several of them. And she had hope for the plan, too. If they got Loki in their good graces great things could be done – end fights much sooner. And, if she was being honest, she would rather see him take a bullet and get hurt instead of any of others. It was worth a shot.

The ride to Steve's place was silent, but the air wasn't as tense as it had been on the tower. Thor looked as if an eneormous weight had been lifted off his shoulders, now that he knew Loki wasn't being handed over to Odin – at least, not imediately. Loki was still unconscious, but still looked much more peaceful than he had when he arrived, as he jumped on the road, his weight on his brother. Bruce looked through the window while Natasha and Steve talked about what were the next steps to plan in the situation, so when they arrived they knew how to deal.

When Loki woke up, he felt someone touching him, and something wet, and panicked. He tried to use his magic, but couldn't, so he simply tried to run. Only to find that his legs weren't responding like they should. When he managed to get properly open he found himself on an unfamiliar floor, and there was a vaguely familiar voice calling his name. He crawled, best as he could, away from the voice, until he had his back to a wall.

"Loki, calm down."

He wouldn't. Yes, they wanted him calm and manageable, but they weren't going to get him so easily...right? Loki looked at his surroundings with red-rimmed eyes, and realised that Odin and the others seemed to be gone, even though this was definitely still Midgard, and not Asgard. He tried to think, tried to remember what had happened. He remembered being shot at, and running and the Allfather catching up with him. But there was something else... someone else. Thor... and his friends. The Avengers. He tried to focus his eyes and recognised the voice, recognised the man. Doctor Banner, the scientist who was also the Hulk. He tried to back away even more, but couldn't. Why was he in a house in with Doctor Banner? We were the SHIELD agents, the cells, the _interrogations._ What was this nice music. What kind of punishment was this.

"Hey, hey" Banner had his hands in front of him, motioning... what? That he wasn't going to attack. "Loki, do you remember what happened? The deal we made with Asgard?"

It was a bit fuzzy, but it was there. The Captain had said that they wouldn't send him to Asgard, that they would make him pay for what he did by making him help them. Or something of the sort.

"This is Steve's... Captain Rogers' place. He and Agent Romanoff will be watching you and probably myself too, making sure you're not giving us any reason to send you to that Asgardian doom. But if you behave nicely, there will be no need to do that, no need for SHIELD or for the Hulk. But you need to work with us."

"Where is...?"

"Thor? He left for Asgard, trying to get this deal or whatever in writing, so the... other side can't back off. Getting the details and all that. That way we'll have some defense to continue with our plan."

"Plan?" Loki said, worried.

"Yeah, I don't know exactly what Steve and Natasha are planning, but I'm sure it's a lot of hard work. You are not here out of kindness, Loki, you are here because some people think you may be useful. And I would advise you to get on their good side, because the rest of the world, hell the rest of the universe would rather kikck you out to creative punishment."

Loki's eyes looked more focused now, more lively.

"Now, will you let me finish bandaging your wounds so you don't bleed all over Steve's things?"

So, Loki let me the man, knowing that the for emotional breakdowns and wallowing in his own misery was sadly over. Now he had to be back to being smart to make the most of this situation.

"And how do I get on _your_ good side, doctor?"

"Well, I am not a soldier or a spy... But as a scientist I have a lot of curiosity. If you were to tell me what I am interested in, maybe I would be grateful, which may or may not turn the hulk less violent nex time he sees you."

Now this was something Loki could understand.

"What would you like to know?"

"Well, we have enough info on Asgard with Thor and Jane Foster, and I can pretty much deduce your motives for New York... But there's a big blank on ouar files, and I can't help but be curious."

Bruce finished the bandages and looked at Loki, eager, knowing he could ask anything.

"Tell me about the void."

A/N: Loki isn't going to have the best of times, even if he's better off than in Asgard. Did you like it? Please do leave a review!


	3. Chapter 3

_Running from the ghosts and shadows_  
 _The world just disavows_

There was a shadow of something unrecognisable in Loki's eyes, a crack in his just rebuilt composture. Bruce didn't know exactly what it was, but it had an effect on him, confirming his theory that whatever had happened there, on the Void had a big effect on his attempt at Earth domination.

"It is a void, Doctor Banner. There is not much to tell - just darkness and cold and emptiness." Loki easily lied.

That wasn't true, but Bruce wasn't going to press it, not just yet. Well, maybe a little.

"How did you find the Chitauri? Or... did they find you?"

There was silence. Bruce stitched, cleaned, disinfected and closed cuts, tears and all other sort of wounds slowly and with care. Giving him time, time for both of them. He didn't want to come off as one of those "interrogators" from one of those government agencies that had tormented him on more than one occasion. That didn't mean he was Loki's friend, of course - he just wanted to be some sort of middle ground.

Loki didn't answer, trying to order his thoughts, so Bruce continued.

"I get the feeling that they were puppets in the whole mess that led to New York, but what I wonder is, where they just your puppets, or was there someone else pulling their strings? Someone that maybe introduced them to you, helped you. Because I hardly think that you found that staff in the void."

Loki remained silent, trying to think of something that would satisfy the scientist without revealing anything he didn't want known. Unfortunately for him, the whole ordeal with Odin and Thor had completely worn him out, and not even the few hours he'd spent unconscious had improved his energy or focus. And that apparent safety provided by the Avengers had taken away the need to save his skin, the clarity that impending doom provided. He was still muddled and hurt and felt unable to come up with a decent answer.

And then Doctor Banner changed the subject abruptly, while he was stitching a long cut on his cheek.

"Your father is a dick."

Bruce didn't know where that had come from. He wanted to be getting information out of the guy now that he still weak, but couldn't forget who was Loki's main tormentor, and probably was one of the reasons he became... twisted. It was amazing that even either of them had become relatively okay. As much as he wanted to avoid it, he couldn't help thinking about his own father and the wounds that man had inflicted on him and his mom, both the physical and the psychological. Seeing that old man there, threatening his son with a spear, well... It hadn't been pleasant.

"Wouldn't you say that I deserved it for what I've done?"

"Violence always creates more violence. Maybe if he hadn't been so aggressive, you wouldn't deserve this, as you put it. And the violence inflicted by your own family... well, that stays with you. Always."

"It wasn't always like that. At first, he simply favoured Thor, didn't like me as much as he liked him. So I tried to become this mighty warrior that he wanted. I tried to become an unparalleled fighter, and I did - but not in the right way, apparently. So then he wanted me dead. Now not even death will satisfy him. I suppose it is my fault, like everything else."

"I would advise you not to play the victim too much in front of the others. I don't mind all that much, having felt sorry for myself for a long time but the others might get angry. Just a warning."

That was actually not bad advice. His escape from Asgard was dependent on the Avengers, and all the information regarding how to treat them was highly valuable.

"Thanks for telling me, Dr. Banner."

"I don't know why I did. You really didn't tell me anything important about what I wanted to know."

Loki tried to do the smart thing, get Banner on his side. But he couldn't just blurt out everything to one of his enemies. Partly because it wouldn't be clever, he needed to have something to bargain, and partly because that time was still too painful to articulate into words. Even after all that time.

"I want to tell you, and I will... But -not yet. I cannot, I truly am sorry. I will tell you this - there was someone who found me on the void - put the Chitauri and me in contact, gave me the staff."

"Someone else who made the choices."

"Someone who was in a position of power."

"Unlike you, who fell there alone and unarmed."

Loki didn't deny it.

"I'm going to leave you to rest now, but that was a nice chat, Loki. You're much more reasonable than people make you sound. To be continued?"

"I would very much like that, Doctor Banner."

If he was going to pull this off, Loki knew that he needed allies. He would much rather have Banner and his green beast n his side than as an enemy, so this was probably good. He just felt so tired and lost and confused. The last few months had been an unending escape, the threat of eternal torture too close for comfort. So he had outdone himself hiding and escaping, transforming and covering his tracks, magic, magic, and more magic until he was absolutely depleted of energy, spent, and he rested – and they got him.

And suddenly, that most horrible future was on hold. No need to kill himself, no need to fight anymore, no need to flee. He could just rest, which seemed amazing. There was a part of him that couldn't believe this to be true, who figured this had to be some sort of illusion, maybe a delirium he himself had created to escape Odin's punishments. But the illusion went on, and everything just seemed so real. He fell asleep practically as soon as his head hit the pillow on the comfy bed, despite the million thoughts running around in his head.

* * *

Steve wanted to do something more about the Loki situation, but there were too many things happening at once. With the rift in the Avengers and a good faction of Asgard against them, he needed to tread carefully. Extremely carefully.

He didn't exactly know why he'd been so adamant on defending Loki and keeping him with them. There was nothing redeemable about him, all he had done had been his choice. And he could have just sentenced him to jail here and he would avoided torture, but he had opted to take him to his home. But he had wanted to help – as much as possible. It had been going well, so far. Loki had slept the past afternoon, evening and night, after the care of Dr. Banner.

Now it was 9 am and Steve was making breakfast. Lots of it. There was something calming about cooking, something he enjoyed very much. He made pancakes, eggs with bacon, poured the orange juice and the coffee and added some toasts with butter and jam just for the pleasure of it. And then a limping figure joined him. Holding himself hig, but still uncertain.

"Have some breakfast, Loki. Sit with me."

Loki eyed the soldier with disbelief. This mortal and Thor had been practically the only people who had spoken out to help him. What was his agenda? Could he simply have helped him out of pity?

"Did you sleep well?" The american asked.

"Very much so. I thank you for your hospitality, Captain." Loki said, serving himself some of that delicious looking food. Better enjoy the luxuries while he could.

"Thor should be back soon, tell us the details of his agreement with yo-... with Odin. We'll work with that, see how we can start using you. Because your stay here is conditional, remember? You'll work with us, in anything and everything that we need."

"Of course." His pride wanted to complain, but the alternative was too grim to even consider. He would have to work with this people, at least while he was so weak, to avoid Odin's and Asgard's rage.

"But you can still rest a bit, have a shower before all of that. That electronic wristband will alert us if you try to leave, so don't even try. And, well, the food is all here and there will be some clothes left for you... You'll have a day to rest and recover from yesterday's nightmare and then it's showtime."

Loki was still looking at the soldier, amazed.

"Captain... I have no words. You have shown me a kindness that I could have never expected."

Steve just looked at him.

"Don't make me regret it."

A/N: Soooo, nothing really happened, sorry about that. But I have not abandoned this.

Reviews are love!


	4. Chapter 4

As he was having a wonderful hot shower, Loki still had trouble believing that this was all happening, this was all true. Food (and very decent food at that), showers and hygiene, medical care, clothes... and a day to rest! It was almost miraculous. Too good to be true. Better to stay with the guard up, be aware of his surroundings, to be able to figure out any possible tricks.

He tried not to think about Odin, not to think about Asgard which had once been his home (and remained the only place where he felt at home, even if only in the past) laughing at his feeble attempts to escape. Tried no to think about how a suspect movement here would land at his torturer's hands again. Tried no to think about how absolutely at the mercy of these mortals he was. They could and probably would control him – utterly. Just like -

"Why did Banner have to mention the void and the Chitauri? Now he felt them in his head again, prying, whispering things he never wanted to hear. No. He couldn't think about that, couldn't give them space in his head, or he'd fall apart even more than he had before Odin. And now he needed to be whole, not just whole, tough, a column. Smarter than everyone else in the room, in charge of the situation, in control.

And yet, he couldn't help but feel the edges of his mind blurring, reality falling apart. For a long time now, he'd been unsure of what was real, what was fantasy and what nightmare. He'd been scared for so long, and now that things were supposedly getting better he was assaulted with the persistent thought that all of this wasn't real. It made too much sense. This was all an elaborate scenario they had constructed in his head to lower his guard, make him more vulnerable.

An scenario where his brother stood up for him, where he had food and hygiene and conversation and heroes of Midgard tolerated him. They wanted him low, unaware, calm, defenseless. They wanted him to think he was safe, so he wouldn't fight back so much. So they could finally get him again, and toy with him, and break him, only to put him back together again. Yes, they were listening, watching, ready to strike at any moment. Lurking in the shadows with their weapons, ready for him, savoring his ignorance. They would take him by surprise and use his shock against him.

When Loki got out of the shower and quickly dressed in the black clothes left for him all he could see was them, he could feel their presence, surrounding him, manipulating him. They're coming after you. And then there was a hand in his shoulder and Loki flinched so hard that he nearly jumped. But he turned around and it was only Rogers, holding his hands up.

"Hey, it's just me. Just wanted to let you know that Thor is coming back. Him, Fury and the others are coming here to talk the details through."

Loki nodded, still breathing heavily. He had to be better than this. Now Rogers had seen him falter, had seen weak. And he needed to be useful, an asset, not just an scared criminal. Nobody pardoned people just for being scared. _You're letting them get into your head, unsettle you. Stop it. Stop them_. Rogers was more perceptive than he'd thought, and picked up on his dilemma.

"It's ok to be jumpy, Loki, you've been through a lot. We won't will think less of you for being scared after what you've endured."

Loki side eyed the soldier suspiciously. _Too good to be true,_ Loki thought to himself, _too nice_.

Thor told them the details of Loki's stay, but he could hardly pay attention to it. He needed a bigger distraction, a bigger threat. His mind was falling apart and he couldn't get out of it, and all them were watching him, all those midgardians, judging him, deciding that he was lying and they'd be better off without him and giving him back ( _they'recomingforyouthey'recomingforyou_ ), and he felt himself getting away from reality getting away from himself, he tried to be back, tried to be back.. Don't be a victim, they won't like that... _Be whole, be useful, be smart, have the upper hand..._

"And just as Romanoff and Fury were telling him that they may have to start using him that day and not the next, he collapsed.

Finally, no more thoughts.

There had been a lot of arguing regarding the subject of Loki, even among the very few people that knew where he was. Was he too dangerous to be free? Should he be in a cell? Were they risking angering other world by giving him refuge? There were few people defending the former villain, but they were people that they want to cross, didn't want to anger. Banner and Rogers, mostly, and of course the mighty Thor.

And it was Banner and Rogers who were the only ones actually paying attention to subjects of all those discussion, Loki himself. Even Thor was more preoccupied with defending his position than the recovery of his brother. A brother who, as it happened, was not really recovering. Steve had seen how Loki had reacted and how unfocused his eyes had been during the whole meeting. He was trying and apparently succeeding to keep it together, but whatever had happened during the time he'd spent running and before it had been too much, apparently. As they were discussing the deal with Asgard Loki's pale eyes rolled back in his head and he started slipping from the sit where he was.

Steve managed to take him before he fell, and Stark sighed.

"What's the drama queen's problem now?"

"He's been under a lot of pressure for a long time, Tony. Sometimes you get to a breaking point and because you're head can't take it. You know this as perfectly as I do, so enough of that."

"Thor towered over Fury and the others.

"This conversation will be continued at a later time.

"His voice and expression left no room for arguments, so they left.

"Thor put Mjolnir down next to Steve's couch, where Loki was resting. Bruce checked him up, but couldn't find anything wrong except for an elevated heart rate.

"He's scared." Steve said. "I think he's afraid we're not for real, that we're just waiting to give him back to torture. I also think there's something else, something he's not telling us."

"There is." Banner said. "When I talked to him, he was very candid. He's smart and knows that if he wants us to be on his side he has to be forthcoming. But he closed up completely about the void, lied very obviously and told that there was someone else, but he couldn't talk about it yet. There's something about that rattles him."

Thor merely looked, sad, defeated.

"Anything you want to add?

Thor looked at his friends, and then at his brother.

"No. I used to be so close to Loki... now I feel you have found out more about him in a day than I could for years. I didn't even realize how badly he was hurting, if it wasn't for the Captain he would have fallen, in front of everyone."

"Sometimes it's easier to talk about difficult things with strangers than with family, because the opinion of strangers doesn't matter to you." Steve said, trying to be helpful. Thor had his faults, but he was rather fond of him.

There was a silence.

"So, what do we do now?"

"We let him rest, and try to work on him when he wakes. Try to reassure him."

Thor left. He didn't know if he was angrier with Loki, with his father, with friends or with himself. Angry with Loki for putting himself in danger all the time, for making all these that had made him a fugitive. If he only decided to help him like he had in Svartalfheim... but no. Always messing around. And he was angry with his father for treating his brother like he was the worst criminal in the nine realms, for playing with Loki's fears and making him this broken creature; with his friends for being able to see what he could not and with himself for having been so neglectful for so long.

Loki spent two weeks fighting the demons in his head, trying to deal with what he'd done while he escaped and what had been done to him. Trying not let it eat him, consume him and what was left of his psyche. He was half-conscious some moments, not really aware of his surroundings. Other times he was asleep, sometimes delirious, always restless. He had nightmares and night terrors that never ended, seemed to be in constant torment.

Bruce tended to him, so that the stitches wouldn't reopen, scars would knit properly and woulds wouldn't get infected. He read up on PTSD and trauma related psychological trouble, to be able to help Loki when he eventually woke up, and ended up understanding himself and his partners better. It was peaceful, in that bedside. Just him, Loki and his nightmares.

Outside, it was war. There were many people who complained that Loki should be in Asgard paying for his crimes and that he was here because he was supposed to useful, but he was being anything but. They said that Loki was faking his supposed ailments to win time and think up a plan to conquer them again. That he didn't deserve the medical attention he was getting. Steve and Thor tried to calm people, but it was difficult, even for charismatic and well-loved men like them.

And then, ten days later, Loki stopped thrashing, and seemed to be really resting. Two days later he woke up, for real this time and saw kind eyes watching over him.

"... Brother?"

"How are you?" Banner asked, glasses in his hand.

"I... am ready"

A/N: Feedback is love! Wanda and Scott will appear next time because of Civil war feels. Sorry for the wait!

You know you want to review!


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